My name is Patrick Browne, I am currently 25 years old. I have been living in Dundalk my whole life. I gave my life to God when I was around 11 years of age. I will admit however that I have not been an avid follower of Jesus for the entirety of that time and as I went on to learn, giving your life to Jesus and making Him Lord of it are two very different things.

I grew up in a relatively 'normal' household, (I say this because everyone's definition of normality can be quite different)
My father left when I was 3 years of age, leaving my Mam to raise myself and my 3 sisters virtually by herself. She did the best she could with what she had at the time, she often struggled with the emotional burden of raising four kids, as well as running a household. This led to a tumultuous upbringing, particularly during my teenage years which I'm sure at times I wasn't the easiest to handle. This was brought to the fore with the arrival of my little brother which furthered the strain on an already delicate relationship me and my family had with one another.

Before I delve into that I'd like to go back to the instance when I gave my life to God, as I said I was around 11 years old and at the time I had no real preconceived notion of 'God' or a higher power or deighty. I did however believe that we could not just exist by chance, that MY life was not just a coincidence. One day my eldest sister approached me about a 'Bible' summer camp which she was already attending a and asked if I'd like to come along. At first I was a bit 'stand off-ish' saying it wasn't my 'thing', however watching the way her eyes lit up when she spoke about it really intrigued me, she seemed for one reason or another to be REALLY into it. Even when I eventually gave in and showed up I seen that same 'light' in the eyes of the people running the camp. They were different in the way they acted, spoke, carried themselves....I couldn't explain or understand it, it was that, that put me on to thinking maybe this 'God' that they all loved to talk about...was for real.

In this next part I can't offer any 'Hollywood' element or entertainment or grandeur, my testimony is simplistic for the most as is Gods way some times. At this point in my life I hadn't done anything drastic, I did need rescuing from drugs, addictions, violence, anything of that sort, I was a simplistic as they come, miraculous none the less. I had a conversation my team leader at the camp, Steve, and I was captivated about how he spoke about God and Jesus, how he talked about Gods love for is, the warmth he expressed when he mentioned God as a father. That night I went home and prayed to this loving, caring, forgiving, merciful, all-knowing, ever present God which I had heard so much about, and what happened next shook me....He spoke back, it was then that I truly experienced God as My father, my Dad. Someone who loved me as I was, wanted the best for me, something which I'd been missing my whole life. That hole, that void, that emptiness was filled to the point of over flowing....as simplistic as that. I asked God to be my saviour, and from that night on and every night for a year I prayed to God just to talk with him, share my problems, thoughts, hopes and ambitions for life...I now had that light in my eyes.

Back to my family which has always been a point of contention for me in my life....there were arguments, full blown heated rows. Me, my mother and my siblings wouldn't talk for months...you may ask what makes this different from other families?  Within me there was an anger building up, an insecurity which was starting to affect me. I was insecure about who I was having not fully learned who God said I was, insecure of what people thought of me, how I acted the way I looked. I longed to be accepted, to be liked and approved by people...
This stems from very early on, before I was 10 years old I suffered from a form of Bulimia (Eating disorder) at one point I weighed less than 3 stone. This insecurity grew as I got older, I never felt I fit in, I felt I had to be a different person for each group I was involved with. Yet I never felt accepted by anybody I was now even insure if God accepted me...how could he? I always thought to myself...
The anger, insecurity, in unforgiveness, had consumed me...I no longer wanted to be part of anything, I hated who I was and no longer cared for who God said I was...I decide to end it...

One day after school I arrived home to an empty house, it was pouring rain and I was drenched, I was 17 at the time. I looked for the sharpest knife in could find, I found none but I still needed to end it. I just couldn't bare who I was anymore...I got my house keys from my school bag an drew them across my wrists as hard as I could, my reasoning being that If I caused enough pain on the outside it would distract me from that which was on the inside. I was that far gone and after other half hearted attempts and notions of suicide, found myself on top of a fire escape, contemplating if the fall was high enough to kill me or leave me paralysed, I was sick of it all...looking to people, relationships, and family for a sense of purpose, all of a sudden I found myself with a void again which I had no idea how to fill...
So through tears, hands gripped to the rail of the fire escape, I cried out; 'Lord!...if your still their, I need to know!' And like most experiences I've had with God I can never explain what happens next...I smiled, laughed, Cried. This time with tears of joy! All of a sudden that warmth came back, the simplistic pure love of God, that warmth of contentment...

I learned when we cry out He is faithful to answer, for we are never truly alone, He is always with us. Our identity is found in Him, not people, relationships, finances or occupations...the first thing that defines us as Gods people...is God! It's what He says that counts not what people say. In Him we are made and through Him we live. He is the only one that can fill that void or emptiness, He is the only one that gives us purpose, a sense of belonging. He is the one that makes us complete.

Throughout all the decisions I've made in my life, I can honestly say giving it to God and making Him Lord of it is the best one I've ever made. I am by no means perfect or the finished article but I've embarked on an amazing journey with God, in which I experience something new everyday, as I learn more about His grace and mercy. I undergo breakthrough in my own personal life, with my family also. 

As I seek Him more I am released of my anger and insecurities, in Him I have all things and through Him I can attain more than I could ever dream, hope or imagine.